Hello again, it's been a while.

I am pushing myself so hard that I don't know what I am pushing so hard for anymore. 

And my faith in a lot of things, is failing. 

Someone that I once let in to my life on a level that I don't let most people up on, destroyed my trust, what progress I had made in my messed psychological state, and I can't escape them. They seem to be everywhere I go. Literally. 

The reason I connected with this person was because this person knew what pain felt like. This person, knew abandonment, the fight to be something good, and the battle of trying to feel good enough. This person knew what it felt like to be thrown down in the cold, dark, mud. Yet, this person turned around and inflicted all that on me. I was a fool to think that someone could be that relatable. I was a fool to have bent over backwards only for this person snap my neck, then for them to point their finger at me telling me I did it to myself. 

Maybe they weren't too far from the truth there. Maybe I was just a fool in trusting them. Putting trust out when it isn't deserved and shouldn't have been had? Yeah that sounds likely. 

Why do I care. When most people don't. 

I couldn't help it if I tried.